


The Dead

by judesloth



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Gay Richie Tozier, M/M, Married Richie Tozier, Not A Fix-It, POV Outsider, POV Richie’s Husband, Post-IT Chapter Two (2019), Richie Got Married, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, no beta we die like men, outside pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:13:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23727367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/judesloth/pseuds/judesloth
Summary: After Eddie’s death, Richie has found the strength to go on with his life and eventually got married to a man named Gabriel. After a stressful evening, Richie tells him about Eddie and, later that night, Gabriel reflects on their marriage and the relationship that Richie and Eddie had.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Richie Tozier/Original Male Character(s)
Kudos: 25





	The Dead

**Author's Note:**

> After Eddie’s death Richie has found the strength to go on with is life and eventually got married with a man named Gabriel. After a stressful evening Richie tells him about Eddie and, later that night, Gabriel reflect about their marriage and the relationship between Eddie and Richie.
> 
> This was inspired by James Joyce’s ‘Dubliners: The Dead’.

It’s been years since Stan and Eddie’s death and it’s been difficult for everyone. 

The lack of their presence is always felt anytime the Losers meet, but life goes on and they had to learn how to keep living without them. 

It’s been particularly hard for Richie and everyone knows it, but after years of severe depression, he was able to regain control of his life. He finally came out to everyone, he slowly started dating again, and eventually, Richie got married to a kind and charming man named Gabriel, that all of the Losers loved. 

It’s now the holidays and him and Richie decided to do something different, so they attended the small Christmas party that Gabriel’s aunt hosted at her house.

The party was small and the guests were mostly Gabriel’s relatives. The dinner begins, all of them are introduced and they find themselves discussing jobs and careers. Richie and Gabriel find a small space in the living room and talk alone for a while until Richie’s attention shifts. His husband looks around for the source of Richie’s distraction until he finds it: in the kitchen, Gabriel’s nephew, a 9-year-old kid with brown hair, is asking his mother for some hand sanitizer ranting about the number of diseases one could get from the present’s wrapping paper (‘So many people must have touched it!’). 

Gabriel tries to regain Richie’s attention until he sees salty tears falling from his eyes to his chin and dropping onto his white shirt. He freezes: Richie was crying.

Richie has never cried in front of him and he didn’t think that a man always so full of life could break down in such a short amount of seconds. The night progresses, Richie recomposes himself and pretends that nothing happened. Gabriel doesn't push and thinks that Richie will talk at his own time.

Later that evening, in their hotel room, Gabriel asks Richie what happened and he tells him about Eddie.  He tells him about that small boy with a fanny pack and a personality that was larger than life. He tells him about how Eddie was his comfort zone in a town that was too dangerous for them and too small for their big hearts. He tells him about the bickering that they had in order to hide feelings that were too powerful for two little kids.  Finally, he tells him about how Eddie saved his life and left this world whispering a final sentence that both of them knew implied so many hidden words.

That night Richie falls easily asleep feeling lighter than before and his husband stares at him, at his puffy eyes, and thinks. 

He stares and thinks, two actions that he has done many times while worshipping Richie. He still feels the same sense of adoration now that he did when they first started dating, but slowly he realizes that, despite what he thought, he knows nothing about the man that he has in front of him. 

He realizes how poor a part he has played in his life. And he loves this man so much that it hurts admitting it to himself. He loves him so deeply that he feels enraged. But he’s not angry at Richie, he could never, he’s angry at himself, for letting jealousy take over himself so easily. 

He feels furious because he’s angry, and he feels even more furious because he knows that he can’t and should not be. He can’t simply because it wasn’t Richie's intention to make him jealous, he just told him a story that he asked about in the first place. 

He can’t be angry, because Richie never spoke about feelings. Richie didn't mention any of that. Richie just wanted to tell him about his best friend and nothing more. But could see that there was more indeed. 

Richie didn’t say that he loved Eddie. But, for Gabriel, there was no need to. 

It was so clear, that it would have made a blind man see the light for the first time in years. It was so clear, that everyone who listened would have thought that Richie’s intentions were to hurt Gabriel, but he knew it was quite the opposite and that’s what hurt the most. Because it was at that moment that he realized how oblivious Richie is. 

Unspoken words fall above the marriage that bounds the couple and that, in that moment, seems like the only thing that they share.  Gabriel tries to suppress the tears as he admits to himself that he may be Richie’s husband but he could never be his person.  Because his person was that man, that was once a little boy with a fanny pack, that had left this world too soon.  _ His person was the man who had braved death, without a single thought, just to save his husband’s life. _

__

__

He looks at Richie sleep so peacefully for maybe the first time in twenty years and he asks himself if this man has ever been truly happy with him.  He gives himself an answer: yes. 

__

Happiness is a deep feeling and, with Gabriel, Richie has been as happy as he could. But that does not mean that he’s been the happiest he’s ever been and he understands that probably he will never be, because to reach that point you'd need to be whole, to be yourself in your entirety, and a part of Richie has died and has been buried with Eddie. And a small part of Gabriel pities the tall man that's lying beside him, for having lost his comfort zone and for being trapped in a world that doesn’t feel safe to him anymore.

__

__

Eddie is dead though. He should not be worried or jealous of him. But Gabriel can’t help but look outside the window and stare at the snow. The snow that’s falling upon the city, covering the roofs and hiding everything under its cloak. And here, in this moment, Gabriel can’t help but wonder: what’s the difference between laying on a hotel’s bed and laying under the ground, if they both get covered by the same white layer of snow. 

__

_ What’s the difference between Eddie and him? _

__

He looks at Richie’s face again, he listen to his deep-drawn breath and understands. 

__

The difference between them it’s that one of them is dead and the other one it’s not. He is Richie’s husband, he can touch his hair if he wants to, he can feel his body under his hands, he is alive and well in that hotel’s room. 

__

__

Yet, in that same moment, he is dead. 

__

He is dead, as well as the rest of the other guests of the party that night, and as well as the rest of the world. 

__

Under that snowy night the lines between life and death have been crossed and for the first time in his life, he realizes that there is no place for him there. 

__

Between Eddie and him, he's the dead one, because Richie’s heart and Richie’s soul were already occupied by a man that he had never met but yet feels like he had known his entire life. 

__

He had met him in Richie’s eyes and in Richie’s words that night, words whispered so quietly that made him feel like he was an intruder in something so private. 

__

He had met Eddie in Richie, because he is the reason Richie is that man today. 

__

He had met Eddie on the crossing line between life and death when they switched roles. Because on that night Gabriel became Eddie and Eddie became Gabriel. Or maybe Gabriel was never himself since the start. 

__

They had met when Gabriel decided to consciously step aside and let Eddie enter the room through Richie’s stories. 

__

They had met when he welcomed Eddie into Richie’s heart and let him take is place. 

__

They had met when Gabriel first entered Richie’s heart, because  _ Eddie had been there all along. _

__

_ They had met because between the two of them, Gabriel is the dead one since Eddie is, has been and always will be alive in Richie’s heart. _

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! Hope you enjoyed the story.  
> Special credits to @pete-is-fanatic and @peachynuggetarts on tumblr for helping me create Gabriel’s nephew.  
> (I’m @judesloth on tumblr)
> 
> Sorry for eventual mistakes, English is not my first language, if you would like to correct them in the comments it would be helpful.


End file.
